I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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