david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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