i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
