Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
