This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
