If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize