i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
