if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
