Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
