I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
