Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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