operation have a gay friend backfired
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
