I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
