Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
