Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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