Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
