yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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