I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
