I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
