Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Randomize
