She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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