check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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