chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
