This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
