It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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