i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
