____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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