I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
