Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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