I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
