So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she looked like the before picture.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
