stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
