I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
