I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
