Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
