There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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