eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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