i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
