JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
