what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
