the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
