i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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