Already got asked if we're dating
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
