Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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