Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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