Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
