yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
