He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize