I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Found your dick twin last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize