i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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