I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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