My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
