Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
