Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Randomize
