awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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