Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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