i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
