you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
