how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
