Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
