Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
