So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize