idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I puked a lego.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it because I queefed?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
