what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
