the day after is always just damage control
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
