jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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